When I was 19, my mom had a major cerebral aneurysm. It was a life-changing event, not just for her but for all of us. Despite the struggle, she lived many more years, although different from before. Reflecting on those earlier days, she used to cook for our family of six every single day—my dad, herself, and us four kids. Interestingly enough, cooking wasn’t her passion. It wasn’t her creative outlet. She was just a good, plain cook who got food on the table for us.
What she did love, though, was entertaining. It’s a bit ambiguous whether she genuinely enjoyed it since the events were often to promote my dad’s business. But I believe she did. She took it very seriously, keeping a detailed journal of who attended, what was served, and even who helped. She’d also note if a piano player came to entertain and how much they were paid—a figure not too different from today’s rates.
Following a tradition from her side of the family, my mom’s kitchen doors were closed to us kids. Her mom never let her in the kitchen, so how she learned to cook remains a bit of a mystery to me. Maybe it was in home economics class in high school. Consequently, she didn’t teach me how to cook, and similarly, my daughter never showed any interest. We never cooked together, but somehow, everyone eventually learned on their own.
However, when it came to entertaining, I did help my mom a lot, and there was this one particular object she used when baking or preparing special dishes. I hadn’t seen it for decades, but then about five years ago, it showed up again at my food co-op. My mom passed away in 2006, and although I still have some of her old wooden spoons, I didn’t have her original one of these objects which made its return pretty special.
It was a vintage nut grinder. You take the grinder, open it up, place the walnuts inside, close the lid, and start grinding. The result? Perfectly chopped walnuts with fantastic texture—something a Cuisinart or blender can’t achieve without turning the nuts into mush.
Back in the day, we used this grinder for various dishes. If you’re from New York or the south, you might know chopped walnuts as a garnish for red velvet or carrot cakes. For us, it was also essential for making haroset, a traditional Passover dish consisting of chopped apples, walnuts, and a splash of Manischewitz red wine.
Finding this little device again filled me with joy; it was more than a kitchen gadget—it was a heartfelt connection to wonderful times spent with my mom. Thank you.
FYI: I met Jezra 30+ years ago at a women’s co-working space & quickly realized we were neighbors in Prospect Heights, Brooklyn. She is a singer, author & speaker coach and I’ve been thrilled to hear her sing, read her books & experience her coaching. Find out more about this dynamic woman: https://speakupforsuccess.com/
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This minisode was clipped from a LIVE virtual Show & Tale: My Favorite Thing (Kitchen Edition) at Historic Green-Wood Cemetery. I’m a regular host of events for G-W for the purpose of building deeper connections, community & legacy one story of stuff at a time.
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